Below you will find seven strategies for building self confidence. These strategies may not be your typical strategies, but they work…if you allow them to work. One of the biggest killers of any type of strategy when it comes to building self confidence is doubt. If you don’t trust that what you are doing is going to be helpful, then you probably aren’t going to get much out of it.
So read over these strategies and then try some of them. Heck, try all of them. Just make sure you give them every opportunity to work by putting in an honest effort. This is your life, so it is in your power–and your power alone–to bring out positive change in your person.
1. Write Down What You Are Good At
It’s important for you to realize that you have a lot of things going for you. You have a great many special skills and talents. You are actually quite good at a number of things. Some of these things make be simple like making great sandwiches; while others may be more noteworthy, such as having a beautiful singing voice.
Maybe your talents aren’t as obvious as those of some other people. Maybe your talents are more behind the scenes. Perhaps you are great with numbers. Possibly, you have a real talent when it comes to working with children. Maybe you have a great memory or an extraordinary ability to learn facts quickly. Just because these things aren’t as obvious as those who have artistic, athletic, or other well-documented talents, doesn’t mean they aren’t important.
Every single talent that you possess can have value. It is up to you to create that value by utilizing your special talent in unique ways. If lots of other people have the same talent as you, it becomes important for you to distinguish yourself by creating something different.
The Self Confidence Exercise
Start by making a list of 25 things you are good at. This list can consist of anything you can think of, no matter how seemingly unimportant the ability may be. Just make sure you get at least 25, so don’t hold back on yourself. This list will get you exploring the inner-reaches of your mind and spirit. You’ll bring to the forefront a positivity that was hiding within you. This list is meant to make you more aware of your talents and just how much you have going for yourself.
Once you have your list, you can move on to the second strategy for building self confidence.
2. Create a Story of Your Talents
When you complete the first strategy, you will have a great list of talents. You will be more aware of many of the things you are good at. You will probably already start to feel a little better about yourself, increasing your self esteem. It’s time to build upon that self esteem and create some confidence juice.
One of the more overlooked areas of self confidence is creativity. Creativity is a major sign of confidence. If you allow yourself to be creative, you are unleashing a great part of your spirit. You are digging into the inner-workings of your mind for thoughts and ideas that are not derivable from other sources. You must create the product of your creativity. Doing this requires self confidence.
While this form of self confidence can be developed in private, it is an important first step if one has the goal of appearing more confident in the public forum. Self confidence is merely a belief in one’s ability and a trust in one’s self. Once you have this belief and trust, it becomes just a matter of tapping into these qualities when they are most useful.
The Self Confidence Exercise
Write a short story about your talents. Make yourself the main character. Make sure you work in your most important talents, but try to get in as many as you can. The story does not have to make much sense. It is not meant to be read by anyone. The purpose of this exercise is to get some of your creative juices flowing while thinking about your abilities.
If you are stuck and need a starting point, write a story about a problem you currently have or have recently dealt with. Turn your character into a superhero with a bunch of amazing special talents. How does your character solve the problem using these talents?
Don’t be afraid to be a little “off the wall” with your story. That is the art of creativity. Most great original ideas were first thought to be absurd. You can learn a lot from your imagination when you let it run free.
3. Start a Conversation on a Topic Have Great Knowledge In
We all have our strange little obsessions and idiosyncrasies. We all also have certain bits of knowledge in areas that few others have. For example, I happen to know a lot about the Tour de France cycling competition. I wouldn’t call myself an expert in professional cycling, but when it’s time for the Tour de France, I wake myself up at 7:30 in the morning and start watching for the next few hours. I’m drawn to lesser-known competitions like that so I tend to know more about them than anyone else I come across. As a result, I can usually tell an interesting story or two about the Tour de France that my conversation partner will enjoy.
Good conversation is an important part of building self confidence. The ability to be a good conversationalist is not an easy one. Many people who lack self confidence also lack the ability to communicate their thoughts properly. By focusing on things you know more about than your conversation partner, you will be able to speak within your comfort zone and have the upper hand in the conversation. After you have a few good conversations of this type, you will feel a greater sense of confidence in your conversation-making ability. You can then explore branching out to topics of less comfort.
The Self Confidence Exercise
Have lunch with a friend and, at some point, start a conversation about one thing that you know a lot about that they probably don’t. Have a good story semi-planned ahead of time that they might find interesting. Try to use a little humor or hit them with the wow-factor. Just because they don’t know anything about the subject doesn’t mean that they won’t be interested in what you have to say. Try to relate the story to something else that might be going on and have some fun with it. If it doesn’t work and they look at you like you have two heads, tell them I made you do it.
4. Create an Elevator Pitch for Yourself
Another big aspect of self confidence is being able to talk about yourself. This is an area where many people feel uncomfortable. You may notice that confident people tend to have no problems talking about themselves. This isn’t necessarily egotism; it’s just that they’re comfortable doing it and most people aren’t, so it stands out.
Egotism is talking excessively about oneself in a boastful manner. This is very different from self confidence. When you have self confidence, you are simply proud to talk about yourself and what you do. You have no problem talking about your accomplishments, talents or areas of supreme knowledge. You enjoy talking about your goals and the direction in which you would like to head in life. You are confident that other people will be interesting in learning more about you, and that is the key.
In order to gain this confidence, you must be prepared to talk about yourself. You must be ready, at a moment’s notice, to talk about what you do, your abilities, your accomplishments, and your goals. You must be comfortable knowing that what you say will truly represent who you are. To help gain this level of comfort, consider creating several types of elevator pitches for yourself.
The Self Confidence Exercise
The first step in this exercise is to write a paragraph or two about who you are and what you do. Don’t worry about being concise, you’ll shorten it later. Write about your job, your hobbies, your interests, and your family. Next, take out the list of your talents and look it over. Then, I want you to jot down a few goals about where you’d like your life to head. What projects are you working on? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years?
Now it’s time to create your extended elevator pitch. This should be two to four sentences about who you are and what you do. Include your hobbies, talents, and goals; include whatever you have written down that is most important to you. Just try to keep it to two to four sentences. This will give you something to talk about when you meet people for the first time. It also helps you get to know yourself a little better.
Finally, take your extended elevator pitch and sum it up in one sentence. Create one statement that sums who you are up in a nutshell. You may never use this statement in conversation with anyone, but it’s good to have for yourself. This is your mission statement in life. This is the statement that gives you direction to live your life by. This is who you are, the statement you must keep true to.
If you want an example…”I am a creator, a thinker, a motivator and entertainer; I live to be who I am.”
5. Make Your Elevator Pitch to Someone
It’s one thing to know what to say when you talk to someone. It’s another thing to actually be able to say it. Confidence in the ability to talk about yourself with pride and passion is critical to overall self confidence. In order to achieve this confidence, there is a simple strategy: PRACTICE!
Practice talking about yourself to other people. Believe me, if they’re worth your time they won’t mind. Don’t talk about your headache or your bunions, though. Talk about the things you wrote about in strategy 4. Talk about the things you’re working on, your goals, things you find interesting, etc. Talk about what makes you proud to be you. And get used to it because this is what’s important in your life. You should never feel ashamed to talk about the pride you have in yourself and your life.
The Self Confidence Exercise
Find a friend to practice with. Tell them that you want to talk about your goals. Any good friend will be more than happy to help you with this. Start by giving them your extended elevator pitch. Then go into greater detail about the things you like to do and what you want to accomplish in life. Talk about your future and the steps you need to take to make your dreams a reality.
Now here’s the kicker. When you’re done talking about yourself, ask your friend for some feedback on some things that you left out. Ask them what they find special about you and how they feel their life is better for having you as a friend. You may learn something you didn’t know about yourself. You may uncover a hidden gem in your personality. This will only add to your self awareness and pride, and that adds up to self confidence.
6. Introduce Yourself to Some You’ve Never Met with Your Story
I know you’ve been waiting for the scary strategies where you really get to build your self confidence by facing your fears. Well, it’s time!
It’s time to show your pride in yourself to the world. It’s time to show that you are happy with the person you are and are excited about what the rest of your life may bring. Show that you are interested in sharing a part of yourself with the rest of the world. This will show others that you have confidence in yourself and they, too, can have confidence in you.
The Self Confidence Exercise
Go out and meet someone new. Anyone. Anywhere. Introduce yourself to someone at the gym, at a bar, in the park, on the train, in the store; anyone, anywhere. Make your elevator pitch after exchanging pleasantries. You may have to word it a little differently than you have it written, since you don’t want to sound like you’re following a script. Just go with the flow of the conversation. You are ready for this. You are ready to talk about yourself with pride. You are ready to show someone else your confidence! Do it, and have fun!
7. Add to Your Confidence Zone
If you follow the advice above, you will now have a great idea of who you are. You will know what you do well, and will be aware of why you add value to the world. You will also have a better idea of what you want to get out of life.
Now, it’s time to add to all this and build on your confidence zone. It’s time to create new things with your life. Create new abilities, new skills, new knowledge, new goals, new value. Create new things to give your pride. It’s time to create life!
The Self Confidence Exercise
Put on your thinking cap. This is where you need to get your creative juices flowing. Take everything you have learned about yourself from all the previous exercise. Take all your talents, skills, abilities, knowledge, goals, idiosyncrasies, value, etc.; and do something new unique with it.
This one is up to you, and I don’t want to stifle your creativity so I won’t give any guidelines. Just try to do something that you haven’t done before that pushes you out of your comfort zone. Do something that you haven’t even thought of doing before. Do something that will give you a thrill. The goal is to create something new, be it an experience or a physical commodity, using the things that make you who you are.
This may be a challenging exercise, but I have confidence that you will be able to come up with something special. When you do, leave a comment and let me know what it is and how it went!
Confidence is in all of us. It cannot be created or destroyed; it can only be realized or ignored. Discover who you are and be proud, for this will give you all the confidence in the world.
